IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units instead of large family groups. Do you think this is positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, there is a tendency
that
Change preposition
for
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people
Use synonyms
tend
Verb problem
apply
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to live alone or in small family
units
Use synonyms
 rather than large family groups in big cities. It
cause
Wrong verb form
is caused
show examples
 by several factors that will be discussed in the following paragraph. In my opinion, I align with that
this
Linking Words
 trend is positive. The main reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 cannot earn enough money to afford a big house. Because all
of
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
 who work in a big city
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to live
in
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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downtown, the
demanding
Replace the word
demand
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of
Change preposition
for
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house
Wrong verb form
housing is
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 growing rapidly. It results in the high price of an apartment.
In addition
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, living alone or in small family
units
Use synonyms
 can avoid conflicts with someone who is not
closed
Replace the word
close
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 but
live
Replace the word
lives
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 in
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 family. Sometimes, the family members might grow up in different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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, so they have various ideas
in
Change preposition
about
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 the same thing.
Moreover
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, modern individuals take seriously about freedom
.
Rephrase
seriously.
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 Because they want to have some free time and space by themselves, they prefer to live alone.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks
in
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to
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 living alone.
For example
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, the family relationship will increase
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
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 between
family’s
Check wording
family
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 members
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when family
units
Use synonyms
 become smaller.
Furthermore
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,
lacking
Wrong verb form
a lack
show examples
 of interaction with others is not healthy for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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.
Then
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will not help each other and become more ignored. In conclusion, it has
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 a trend that
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live alone or in small family
units
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, I consider that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, some social problems that are mentioned above paragraphs need to be solved.

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planning
Plan your essay with a clear map: say your view at the start, then give 2 or 3 strong reasons, each with one example.
organization
Use one main idea in each paragraph with a clear first sentence that shows the point. Use simple link words like and, but, also.
language
Check grammar and word order. Use short sentences and simple words to avoid errors.
strength
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
content
Some ideas are connected to the main topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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