IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The widespread popularity of fast
food
Use synonyms
 without doubt has a great impact on the eating habits of many
people
Use synonyms
 in the world.
However
Linking Words
, many health issues have derived from consuming too much fast
food
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, some suggest that governments should impose a higher
tax
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
Use synonyms
. It may be an effective way to deter
people
Use synonyms
 from eating too much fast
food
Use synonyms
, but there are other ways the
government
Use synonyms
 can try to improve the situation. Statistics indicate that
lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
show examples
 groups eat more fast
food
Use synonyms
 than wealthier
people
Use synonyms
. One possible reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that fast
food
Use synonyms
 is far cheaper than fresh produce. Research suggests that many families simply cannot afford to buy healthy
food
Use synonyms
 or pay higher taxes on fast
food
Use synonyms
. For them, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is not a choice but a necessity. If the
government
Use synonyms
 did impose a higher
tax
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
Use synonyms
, these
people
Use synonyms
 would be affected the most. From an economic point of view,
higher
Add an article
the higher
show examples
tax
Use synonyms
 might seem sensible. In countries
such
Linking Words
 as the US, the healthcare system spends a large part of its budget on
people
Use synonyms
 with diet-related health problems. The
tax
Use synonyms
 could help fund the healthcare system.
However
Linking Words
, these
people
Use synonyms
 have caused their own illnesses because of their choice of
food
Use synonyms
. The
government
Use synonyms
 does not have the responsibility to pay for or help
people
Use synonyms
 pay for the medication. One solution I can think of is that the
government
Use synonyms
 should promote the importance of a healthy diet. If
people
Use synonyms
 still want to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 after learning
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 chances of having health problems, they are the ones to blame. To sum up, it may be effective to deter
people
Use synonyms
 from eating too much fast
food
Use synonyms
, but it may
also
Linking Words
 bring about complaints and resentment.
Although
Linking Words
 it seems to make sense looking at it from an economic perspective, it would be better for the governments to try other approaches
first
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: