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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#grades #marks #students #support
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Traditionally, education
systems
Use synonyms
 across the globe assess the performance of their
students
Use synonyms
 using grades.
My
Change preposition
In my
show examples
 perspective, colleges must not use
ranking
Add an article
a ranking
show examples
 system to evaluate their
students
Use synonyms
 which will lead to many problems,
such
Linking Words
 as
health
Use synonyms
 issues due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress, and
also
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 they do not get an opportunity to explore deeper of their desired subject.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, In
this
Linking Words
 competitive
world
Add a comma
,world
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 the children are more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
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 and depressed due to the grading system.
Furthermore
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, each student is unique, some perform
good
Change the adjective
well
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 in the classroom and others may have exceptional talent in arts, sports, and music, but schools grade all
students
Use synonyms
 under the same category leads to demotivation, depression and stress.
For example
Linking Words
, As per
the
Correct article usage
a
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 survey conducted by the Indian Child Department shows that every year more than
thousand
Change the article
a thousand
show examples
 teenagers commit suicide
as
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 they failed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary school.
Thus
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
 issues like stress and depression caused by evaluation procedures
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to suicides.
In addition
Linking Words
, Apart from the above
health
Use synonyms
 issues,
students
Use synonyms
 do not get an opportunity to explore their desired topic. To explain more, to pursue
the
Correct article usage
a
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bachelors
Change to a genitive case
bachelor's
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 degree from the university everyone must be passed with minimum marks in all the subjects which are defined in
syllabus
Add an article
the syllabus
show examples
, which will not provide enough time for them to gain deeper knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their passion.
For example
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, during my college, I was interested in the "Digital Signals" but I had to score minimum marks in every other subject to procure the degree certificate, which did not allow me to invest
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 amount of time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my aspired skills.
Finally
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, to recapitulate, The education
sytems
Correct your spelling
systems
 believe that grading
systems
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 inspire the youth. In my opinion, education
systems
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 should move out of the ranking
systems
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 to secure
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 and to provide
paltform
Correct your spelling
platform
 to explore their aspirations.
Submitted by rana on

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