Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recently, thanks to the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology and globalization, the phenomenon of living in a metropolitan
city
would do more harm than good to ourselves has aroused a wide range of concerns among various circles and there is a broad spectrum of opinions on living in a famous town.
Nonetheless
, I vehemently agree with the view that living in a crowded
city
would undoubtedly bring various negative effects on people. Today I would like to shed light on
this
topic.
Firstly
, with the expansion of the multinational restaurant businesses, it is a ubiquitous phenomenon that there are often a number of fast-food restaurants,
for instance
, Mcdonald’s, KFC, and
Jolibee
Correct your spelling
Jollibee
, to name but a few, located within a big
city
.
Instead
of buying ingredients to cook
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner at home,
however
, it is commonly seen that citizens
instead
will consume an enormous amount of junk food for convenience. Since the nutritional value of junk foods is extremely low, by containing an exceptionally great amount of fats, it can in turn lead to several adverse
health
issues,
for example
, obesity, diabetes, coronary heart disease, to people for worsening
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
health
. Not only can living in a big
city
impact our physical well-being, but
also
they will bring a harmful effect on our psychological
health
as well. Due to the prevalence of the consumer culture, it is common that companies would exploit numerous ways to promote their products to the customers, in a bid to keep abreast of their latest trends. In most of the renowned brands, be it Louis Vuitton, Prada or Gucci,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would create an unrealistic scenario with exaggerated effects on the customers, and
therefore
people would be manipulated at the end of the day. A striking example is that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some fashion magazines, they would present their products with glamorous and slim models, that conveyed the message of “thin is analogous to beauty”. Worse still,
such
distorted
Correct article usage
a distorted
show examples
concept would broaden the gap between real-self and ideal-self among women, that in turn lower their self-esteem, which is incontrovertibly detrimental to people’s psychological development. To summarise
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
apart from a range of adverse
health
conditions
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
be easily resulted
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
increasing the popularity of the fast-food restaurants in a big
city
, it is of uttermost significance that living in a metropolitan
city
could have a negative effect on the mental status as well. It is hoped that
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
public should increase their awareness of the drawbacks
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
living in a crowded and famous
city
.
Submitted by adrianworld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
What to do next:
Look at other essays: