IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter • describe the problem you had with the tickets • say why you were unhappy with the staFF • suggest what action the train company should take

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I am writing to regard
with
Change preposition
apply
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the unsatisfied journey at the station. I and my parents planned to visit Beijing, so I bought three
tickets
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
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 a famous website. When we arrived at the station, we just
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 not pass the gates where a
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
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 was
at
Change preposition
on
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his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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duty. He said that my
tickets
Use synonyms
 were fake and there was nothing he could do even
we
Correct word choice
though we
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 were missing the train bound for our destination. Unfortunately, we missed the train and our journey was abandoned. As we were urgent to rush to Beijing, we were so upset that we could not figure out how to address
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
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 did not offer a solution. His
altitude
Correct your spelling
attitude
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 was so bad that he turned cold face to us, which made our day even worse. I would appreciate it if you would compensate us with
tickets
Use synonyms
 refund as the fake
tickets
Use synonyms
 were logoed with your
companies
Change noun form
company's
show examples
 name. Thanks for your time. YOURS FAITHFULLY,

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear introduction which states the purpose of your letter. This adds clarity and better structure to your writing.
task achievement
Instead of mentioning 'I and my parents,' use 'My parents and I' to maintain correct grammatical order.
coherence cohesion
Break down your response into distinct paragraphs for each requirement (describing the problem, reason for unhappiness, suggestion). This improves readability and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure you re-read your letter to catch any grammatical mistakes or awkward phrases, which otherwise might reduce the clarity of your message.
task achievement
Adopt a more formal tone in your writing. Instead of 'Thanks for your time,' use 'Thank you for your time and consideration.'
task achievement
You have addressed all three points requested in the task, ensuring your letter is comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The grievance is clearly stated, making it evident to the recipient what issues need to be addressed.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • disappointed
  • inconvenience
  • frustrated
  • incompetent
  • unhelpful
  • inconsiderate
  • ruined
  • compensation
  • refund
  • apology
  • reimbursement
  • improvement
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