IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Animals are in danger of extinction. People say that we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree.

#animals #danger #extinction #people #humans
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many animal
species
Use synonyms
 are on
verge
Correct article usage
the verge
show examples
 of
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 extinct, and some suggest that humans should try to save only those
species
Use synonyms
 that are of any
use
Use synonyms
 to us. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion as I believe every creature has its place on earth and we should safeguard nature’s diversity as it is a gift for our planet. There are several reasons why few people have the idea of saving only those
animals
Use synonyms
 which are beneficial for humans.
Firstly
Linking Words
, these creatures have played an important part in the evolution of humankind, and
thus
Linking Words
, their protection should be of top concern.
For example
Linking Words
, cows gave us milk to survive, horses took us to
far off
Add a hyphen
far-off
show examples
 places, and bulls ploughed through our fields etc, these are some ways where these
animals
Use synonyms
 made our
life
Use synonyms
 super convenient and helped us evolve into complex beings.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 being helping hands some
animals
Use synonyms
 became a source of happiness and companionship for us, which was crucial for our beings to survive.
For instance
Linking Words
, dogs are known to be true friends for
life
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their loyalty and the feeling of belongingness they offer.
Hence
Linking Words
, many believe we must protect
species
Use synonyms
 based only on their resourcefulness for us.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe every living organism on earth has its own significance and
this
Linking Words
 diversity is what makes our planet beautiful,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
hence
Linking Words
, efforts should be made to provide safety to every animal irrespective if they have any direct
use
Use synonyms
 for us or not. To quote an example, the sheer variety of wildlife found in jungles has been an important source of learning about
life
Use synonyms
 for us.
In addition
Linking Words
, our food chain is comprised of hundreds of complex
species
Use synonyms
 which might not have any practical
use
Use synonyms
 in daily
life
Use synonyms
 for mankind, but their presence is essential to keep the balance of nature which is paramount for the existence of all of us.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 certain individuals prefer to safeguard
animals
Use synonyms
 based only on their
use
Use synonyms
 for their convenience, I strongly feel that saving every animal
species
Use synonyms
 is important for our own survival and maintaining the balance of nature on earth.
Submitted by mile.jasmeenkaur12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that each body paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the question prompt and presents a clear, structured argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs, creating a smooth and logical flow of information.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: