With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is not unusual for
people
to choose more fast
food
as their meals nowadays. In my opinion, I support the view that the benefits of
this
phenomenon far outweigh its drawbacks. There are several disadvantages for
people
who tend to have more fast
food
. In the first place, individuals who eat more fast
food
have a higher possibility of health problems.
This
is because those foods always contain a high level of calories and sugar, which may induce some diseases in their blood systems.
Therefore
,
people
are easier to get into bad situations by being immersed in that foodfood. Meanwhile, with more
people
turning towards fast
food
instead
of choosing their own cuisine, the
food
culture of local residents may disappear. The main reason is that there will be fewer residents consuming their special dishes, resulting in the banquet of flavour restaurants. So
this
part of the culture will fade from the public's views.
By contrast
, there are
also
advantages to the popularity of fast
food
.
Firstly
, eating these foods for meals obviously saves time for
people
who may not have enough time to spend on eating.
For example
, some
people
are busy with their businesses and have limited spare time.
This
means that without fast
food
, those
people
are highly likely to get starved or delay their work.
Consequently
, fast
food
is regarded as their necessary source of meals.
Moreover
, the gross profit of fast
food
stores is actually higher than most restaurants, which means it is more beneficial for the local economy. Based on that, those districts which own more fast
food
stores will attain higher revenue.
As a result
, the local governments can spend more money on providing benefits to communities. In conclusion,
although
fast
food
may be harmful to
people
's body conditions, I confirm that the convenience and economy brought by it are far beyond its shortcomings.
Submitted by 1356388645 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure that each argument flows smoothly to the next; try using appropriate transition words and phrases. Additionally, ensure that all your paragraphs are fully developed and consistent in length.
task achievement
Be more specific with examples. Instead of saying 'some people are busy with their businesses,' consider discussing a specific scenario or profession. This will make your arguments more tangible and relatable.
general
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'foodfood' should be 'fast food,' and 'the banquet of flavour restaurants' is a bit unclear. These can distract the reader and affect your overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the overall argument.
task achievement
You address both the advantages and disadvantages of fast food, providing a balanced view before concluding that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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