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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

As the number of working mothers is increasing,some people say that it is impossible for them to be effective at work and home at the same time.To what extent do you agree

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether women who have
children
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 can be effective
both
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 at work and at home. Some people argue that it is impossible to balance these two roles,
while
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 others believe that
mothers
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 can manage
both
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 successfully. In my opinion,
this
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 idea is partly true because
although
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 working
mothers
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 face many challenges, with
support
Punctuation problem
support,
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 they can still perform well in
both
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 areas. On the one hand,
it is clear that
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 being a working mother is very demanding. Working hours are often long, and
mothers
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 have to divide their time between their careers and childcare.
In addition
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, some workplaces require weekend shifts, which makes the situation even more difficult. Apart from their jobs,
mothers
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also
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 have responsibilities
such
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 as cooking, cleaning and helping
children
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 with their daily needs.
As a result
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, many women feel exhausted and stressed, and they sometimes worry about not giving enough attention to their families.
Therefore
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, it seems hard for them to be fully effective in
both
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 roles at the same time.
On the other hand
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, many
mothers
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 are still able to cope with these difficulties. In modern societies, fathers share housework more than in the past, and childcare services
such
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 as babysitters or nurseries are very common.
Furthermore
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, some companies provide flexible hours or remote working opportunities, which allow
mothers
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 to spend more time with their
children
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.
For instance
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, a mother who works from home can take short breaks to support her
children
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,
while
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 still completing her professional tasks. In conclusion, even though being a working mother is not easy, it is not impossible to balance family and career. With social support and flexible working conditions, women can be successful
both
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 at home and in the workplace.

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task response
Answer the question more directly at the start. Say if you agree or partly agree, then give two strong ideas.
coherence
Use clear links to move ideas. Use words like first, next, also, but, finally.
structure
Give one clear idea per paragraph and end with a short personal view.
language
Support ideas with simple, common examples.
language
Check for word choice that stays in common lexis.
strength
Clear view on balance of work and home life.
structure
Good overall structure with intro, two body parts and conclusion.
coherence
Use of linking phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • prioritization
  • stereotype
  • dual roles
  • support systems
  • child care services
  • flexible hours
  • remote work options
  • parenting responsibilities
  • technological advancements
  • societal norms
  • maternity leave
  • family-friendly workplace cultures
  • productivity
  • retention rates
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