IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people argue that some individuals have an innate ability for games and music arts,
while
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 others claim that any person can be good in these fields with training.
While
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 inherited talented people do not require too much training, I believe that with self-inspiration and proper training, a person can excel in any field. On the one hand, supporters of inherited talent argue that genetics play a significant role in training,
such
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 as height, weight, age etc.
This
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 is a positive point and an extra benefit for the person if he is playing football and he is tall. He can easily score a goal.
For instance
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, Mozart, a famous musician, started his career in the music field when he was 6 years old.
However
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, I believe that dedication and true inspiration are more important than weight and height.
On the other hand
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, people who believe that proper guidance and training are vital for any sportsman and musician. The children who really want to be good players or musicians start their journey at an early age, and with consistency, dedication and honesty, by the time, they perform very well.
For instance
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, Lionel Messi, a famous football player, is short in height
according to
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 the game. But with dedication and proper training, he is the best player in the world and excels in every match he plays. I believe natural ability may give some individuals an advantage, particularly at the beginning of their journey.
However
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, it is the effort, perseverance, and quality of training that ultimately determine long-term success. In conclusion, both perspectives hold some truth. Natural talent can make learning certain skills easier, but consistent effort and training are essential for mastering them. The combination of both factors leads to success in these fields.

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task response
Your essay has a good structure and a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the argument could be made stronger by giving more balanced examples for both views.
coherence
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
cohesion
Some of the sentences are a bit awkward or unclear. Work on varying your sentence structure and ensure clarity in your arguments, as this will improve the overall flow of your essay.
task response
The essay covers both perspectives on the topic and provides your personal opinion, which is clearly stated and supported with examples.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are well-done. They give a clear overview of the topic and summarize your main points effectively.
cohesion
The examples provided, such as Mozart and Lionel Messi, are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate abilities
  • genetic make-up
  • inherent aptitude
  • nurturing environment
  • rigorous training
  • proficient
  • initial advantage
  • consistent practice
  • perseverance
  • quality training
  • prodigies
  • dedication
  • long-term success
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