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Writing Samples
Band 5

Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion

#people #countries #society
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There are some young
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that going to different nations profits not only them but
also
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 the
society
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. I will be going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement and in the end, I will give my own opinion.
To begin
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 with,
in addition
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 to having fun travelling to other states, there are some other benefits as well.
Firstly
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, when the individuals go to the other regions, they could familiarize
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
 the culture and traditions there.
Also
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, they could see the historical areas which usually
people
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 after seeing these areas, they tempted to search about there and getting some information about the history and the origin of that place. It means they subconsciously improve their general knowledge
with
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by
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 just visiting
such
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 areas.
Secondly
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, going
people
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 to other countries has a
lot
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oflot
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 benefits on different aspects of the
society
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. The
first
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 one which
it
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apply
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could be improved by tourists
,
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apply
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 is the economy of the
society
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. What I mean is that the tourists when came to other countries, they usually want to
bought
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buy
show examples
 some things as a memento of that country. The consequence of
that is
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 that it causes the economy of that region to rotate. The
second
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 advantage of having
tourist
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tourists
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 in a community is that the community can introduce itself to the whole world through them. It means when a
traveler
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traveller
show examples
 enjoys a place, he/she will subconsciously recommend it to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others. In conclusion, I truly agree with the young
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people
Change noun form
people's
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believes
Replace the word
belief
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 that travelling to other regions could benefit both the
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
 and the
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by m.akbari1876 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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