IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Most of the
people
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 think that the
Internet
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 causes many
problems
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. From my point of view, I partially agree with
this
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 statement. In my opinion, the
Internet
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 has some beneficial sides,
while
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also
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 it can cause some
problems
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. First of all, with the
Internet
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, mankind can access everything easily,
such
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 as
communication
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. To my mind, communicating with someone without any interrupting is the best thing which
internet
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 serves us. In the past,
people
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 could not share information,
although
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 they had just newspapers and magazines.
Nevertheless
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, today we can do significant increases in the business with the help of smooth
communication
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.
Also
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, it makes
communication
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 cheaper, so we use some applications,
such
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 as WhatsApp, Messenger and Gmail for texting.
Also
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, it does not take too much time. Nowadays, these apps are useful for huge companies too.
For example
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,
according to
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 the “Businessman” journal, 85% of marketing companies utilize Gmail for their
communication
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 system.
On the other hand
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, the
Internet
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 has some bad sides like stealing private information. Today, artificial intelligence is popular all over the world and it increases
a
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the
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 number of users day by day.
Although
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, some
people
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 do not know that it will create some disasters for the world. With
this
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 new invention, our private things are not secure. Even it can use our voice and photos to make some videos.
For example
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, in Canada, a man stole the credit card information with the help of the voice of the owner of the card in 2022. In conclusion, the
Internet
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 brought some good things to mankind,
as well as
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 many
problems
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. Among them, it broke the distance among
people
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 and may cause some safety
problems
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. If we utilize it carefully, it will make our life easier.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat clear but could be more cohesive. Try to use more transition words and phrases to link your ideas together smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next. For instance, clearly connect the second paragraph’s benefits of the Internet with the third paragraph’s issues.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task and provided relevant examples, try to elaborate more on your points to fully achieve the task requirements. Extend the examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a clear beginning and ending.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally well-organized within each paragraph.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your response is quite clear and comprehensive, covering both the advantages and disadvantages of the Internet.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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