IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
With social networking
sites
 becoming a ubiquitous element of our daily lives, some believe that these
sites
 harm us. In my opinion, I agree that they have exerted significant negative influences on both individuals and society.
To begin
 with, it is undeniable that social media often projects an unrealistic and unattainable standard on teenagers. Young
people
 tend to be attention seekers, and they do seek positive feedback on social networking
sites
. Oftentimes, young
people
 only post the most appealing pictures and the most positive parts of their lives on social media.
Hence
, it is easy for social networking
sites
 to convey false standards of beauty and success to them, undermining the fact that imperfection is not a problem.
Consequently
,
this
 can lead to low self-esteem and even depression problems in teens. Equally worth mentioning is that social media has played an essential role in polarising our society. To boost revenue, some social networking
sites
 are infamous for using artificial intelligence algorithms to manipulate netizens’ behaviour online.
This
 leads
people
 to engage more in hate speeches or aggressive discussions, as
people
 are inherently more focused on negativity.
Furthermore
,
this
 can be exacerbated by political events. The recent US presidential election is a case in point. In that election, Facebook and Twitter were notorious for spreading biases and causing conflicts across the country. In conclusion, my view is that the algorithms of social networking
sites
 are massively misused for commercial and political purposes, and that has imposed harm to our youth’s mental health and social harmony.
Submitted by Peter Chan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: