Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

#people #children #time #school #work

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With the increasing competition in education, whether

children

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should devote their free

time

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also

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to academic

activities

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has been a topic of widespread debate. There are strong arguments on both sides, which I hope to give a bipartisan view of in my following statements.

Firstly

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, ambitious

parents

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claim that it is necessary because of the fiercely competitive world in which we live. They point out that it is extremely difficult to enter a prestigious university. For

this

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reason, they claim,

children

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should work on language and science whenever they are free.

In addition

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, some popular educational

activities

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such

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as language exchange courses are only offered during the summer vacation. As

such

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, ambitious

parents

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would schedule an array of educational

activities

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for their

children

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during

this

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time

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. Other

parents

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however

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, argue that it is crucial to consider the pressures experienced by

children

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today. Hong Kong,

for example

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, is infamous for its high school workload. Many HK students not only often work until late at night, but are

also

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pressured by the high expectations of teachers and

parents

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Such

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constant work and stress can have a major impact on

children

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's mental and physical health and thereby increase their risk of depression and obesity.

Therefore

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, it is often said that

children

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are better off participating in outdoor

activities

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and relaxing in their free

time

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. In conclusion, I believe that what matters most is

children

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’s

wellbeing

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well-being

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Children

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should have a chance to enjoy free

time

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so that their

all round

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all-round

show examples

needs are met. Only when a work-life balance is achieved and maintained can

children

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compete in and strive to attain personal best performances.

Submitted by Peter Chan on Wed May 25 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unstructured free time
creativity
mental health development
extracurricular activities
well-rounded development
sports
arts
social skills
family time
emotional growth
relationship building
rest and leisure
academic performance
burnout

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Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

meals consumed by the USA population focusing on the three typical nutritions comprising sodium, saturated fat and added sugar found in each meal.

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?