In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

The mass migration from rural areas to

cities

, a phenomenon witnessed across the globe, presents a complex picture with both positive and negative consequences.

While

it offers opportunities and economic prosperity for individuals, it can

also

lead to societal imbalances and environmental challenges. On one hand,

cities

offer a beacon of hope. Education, healthcare, and jobs abound, drawing young people seeking a better life. Imagine Jyoti, a rural Indian girl who now shines as a doctor in Mumbai, her story echoing countless others who found their potential in urban opportunities.

This

migration fuels economic growth, contributing significantly to national prosperity.

However

this

exodus comes at a cost. Imagine the abandoned village, its fields silent, its elders left behind. Rural communities lose their youth, skilled

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

, and tax base, leading to poverty and underdevelopment. Traditional cultures fade, and food security becomes a concern.

This

reminds me of news reports from declining farming communities in my own country, where the land lies fallow, a stark reminder of the rural drain.

Furthermore

cities

struggle to cope with the influx. Imagine overcrowded slums, strained resources, and pollution choking the streets. Social inequalities widen, and managing

this

growth becomes a constant challenge.

Cities

like Jakarta, already grappling with these issues, highlight the need for responsible urban planning to mitigate the negative impacts. In conclusion, rural-urban migration is a double-edged sword.

While

it unlocks individual progress, it can leave rural areas hollow and

cities

overwhelmed. Sustainable solutions lie in balancing opportunities across regions, investing in rural development, and ensuring responsible urban growth. Only

then

can we ensure a future where everyone, regardless of their zip code, has the chance to thrive.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Wed Feb 21 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the introduction clearly states whether you perceive the trend as positive or negative, to directly address the essay question.

coherence and cohesion

Deepen your analysis by exploring the interconnectedness of your arguments, showing how one aspect influences another.

coherence and cohesion

Integrate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Consider including more concrete data or studies to support your points, increasing the depth of your analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

275 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Many employees may work at home with mother and technology. Some people claim that it benefits only workers but not employers. Do you agree or disagree?

While people in developing countries are happier than in the past, people in developed countries are less happy. Why? What can be learned from this?

Shopping online has various advantages for consumers but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.