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Band 4

Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefits students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #students #cost #studies #education #society
Scholarships can be a huge support for
students
 in order to complete their studies at university. Some
people
 argue that
students
 ought to pay
completely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the expenses of studying
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
 to university
education
 would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
return benefits only to
students
 not to the entire
society
. I
vehement
Change the word
vehemently
show examples
 disagree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will discuss how supporting and encouraging
students
 by taking over some cost of their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 have benefits
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the whole community.
To begin
 with, nowadays, costs for
further
 study are a bit expensive and not everyone can afford it ,and if there is no aid financial to cover their expenses for
education
 ultimately,
this
 can
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to a significant reduction in the number of graduates.
As a result
, in the industry arena will not get great quality among employees or
manages
Correct subject-verb agreement
manage
show examples
 that role in the companies
due to
 the lack of background and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge
 of what they are working.
Therefore
, the business will be under threat
to fall
Change preposition
of falling
show examples
 down
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
constantly.
Hence
, as much as
this
 affects business and companies as will affect the economy of the country,
in particular
 in
society
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the prices of goods will experience a
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 rise.
Furthermore
, the lack of graduate
people
 in the community would have a bit of
merits
Change to a singular noun
merit
show examples
 in the level of consciousness and
knowledge
 of
society
.
For instance
, these days,
knowledge
 is quite crucial for adults and kids too, if the parents do not have the
knowledge
 or basics in
education
,
thus
 they cannot help their child
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 doing homework and
guide
Wrong verb form
guiding
show examples
 them or
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 them advice for some
further
 study.
Moreover
,
this
 cannot gain a good result probably children will not get the motivation to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
follow their dreams and do whatever they want, as much as a parent is the most
people
 that can encourage the young
people
.
To sum up
,
students
 should not cover all the costs of
further
education
 in university
due to
 many drawbacks, consist in
society
 and in individuals.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

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coherence cohesion
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