IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

#people #countryside #cities #towns
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There is no daying the fact that few young individuals are leaving the ruler areas to live in urban and towns, leaving only elder
people
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 in the countryside?what problem does
this
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 solution?
However
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, there are numbers of arguments that surround my opinion which
i
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I
show examples
 will delve upcoming paragraphs. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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,
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 and foremost reason behind
this
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 is that
youngsters
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 prefer to live in
cities
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 and towns for
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 future.
For
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To
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explane
Correct your spelling
explain
,
cities
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 are more
development
Replace the word
developing
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 rather than ruler are
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
think
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thing
Correct your spelling
think
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 that young
people
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move
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 there and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 education system available in
this
Linking Words
area
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.
For example
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, the
serva
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server
 was conducted by
india
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India
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 government in 2017 60 %
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youngsters
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of youngsters
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move
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in
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to
show examples
cities
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 and towns to
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 better
carriers
Correct your spelling
careers
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 in our life. Government should solve
this
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 problem to improve
countryside
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the countryside
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area
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 and develop
new
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a new
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 education system and provide better
facilities
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Use synonyms
youngsters
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for youngsters
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do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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 not
move
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 to our hometown. Probing
a head
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ahead
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, one of the main underlying issues is that young
people
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move
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 day by day hometown and elderly
people
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 only stay there and it was very difficult for old individuals.To explicate it,
youngsters
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 are enjoying our life to go there and they were happy. Because government do not provide
this
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 kind of
facilities
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 in countryside
area
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.
Moreover
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, it was the main reason
move
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 there it is very dangerous in future because young
people
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 forget our culture and
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
increase
 our love in families and
youngsters
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 were
every thing
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everything
show examples
 in
cities
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 because don't one to stopping. It will
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be caused
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be cause
Correct your spelling
because
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 to provide better study and
facilities
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 to
youngsters
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 happier in our family members. To conclude,
Although
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 command
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to provide better study provide in ruler
area
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 yet
youngsters
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Use synonyms
move
Add the particle
tomove
show examples
 develop
cities
Use synonyms
 in our good opportunities and better
facilities
Use synonyms
 .
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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