IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #computers
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It is assumed that very soon people who can not operate
computers
Use synonyms
 will
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 affected. Since
this
Linking Words
 is the technology era where everything depends on technology
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I totally agree with the above phrase if the public
will
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not learn to do work on the computer they will be left behind. Let's discuss the job perspective
first,
Linking Words
if people
will
Verb problem
do
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 not learn
computers
Use synonyms
 they most probably will lose their jobs.
According to
Linking Words
 a survey which was conducted by MIT, they are saying
computers
Use synonyms
 will replace 60% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human jobs, which haven't yet discovered in the coming decade.
This
Linking Words
 statement is an alarming situation for all those folk who are taking technology for granted.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
computers
Use synonyms
 are not only going to take humans' place but
also
Linking Words
 can help the community who are working nowadays. Let's take an example of a simple
excel
Capitalize word
Excel
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 sheet, which is used in almost every office for daily tasks. If a person knows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excel very well
then
Linking Words
 it will be
very
Rephrase
apply
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a piece of cake for him to manage daily expenses.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, he will have to manage it all on paper by calculating everything manually. So,
this
Linking Words
 machine not only records the data but
also
Linking Words
 can perform certain actions for us in seconds which may take a lot of minutes if we
will
Verb problem
apply
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do it
by
Change preposition
apply
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our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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manually.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I think the computer is becoming our need now and we can not outlast in the future if we will not take it seriously, not only for the job holders but
also
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 for those who will be running their own business.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everyone should learn the computer from basic to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced.
Submitted by umair_05 on

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task response
The essay has several grammatical and structural issues that affect its overall coherence and readability. The logical progression of ideas is not clear, and the introduction and conclusion lack clarity and depth. Furthermore, the essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks specific examples to support the arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. Sentences are often poorly connected, making the overall flow of the essay difficult to follow. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion lack depth and do not effectively frame the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
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