Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

Whereas

Linking Words

it is necessary for the elderly to work out frequently,

due to

Linking Words

the physicians' alledges,the majority of them hesitate about

this

Linking Words

indispensable issue.

Therefore

Linking Words

,not only some associated

radices

Check wording

roots

show examples

behind it but

some

Correct word order

also some

show examples

remedial ideas in order to tackle the problem are

Linking Words

also

Correct word order

apply

show examples

uttered here. One of the most highlighted factors has to do with the lack of information about the importance of physical activities.As a vivid case,if they are aware of its positive footprints on their health,indeed,never abandon that,

while

Linking Words

multitudes of diseases would be eradicated by sport.To enlighten,as a piece of evidence,folks

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who used to be absorbed in

this

Linking Words

realm

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

usually encounter illnesses less than others

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who ignored that.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,on some occasions,senior citizens may

are

Wrong verb form

show examples

overwhelmed by other tasks.To illustrate,numerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them have to get employed even after their retirement to meet their financial problems

Punctuation problem

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

,it is infeasible for them to exercise,as neither adequate energy nor enough time

is remained

Wrong verb form

remains

show examples

to be allocated to

such

Linking Words

functions,which

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

usurped by their occupation in advance. To address that,increasing humans' knowledge can play a critical role,which should be accomplished by releasing programmes on either

Use the right word

show examples

or the radio.

For instance

Linking Words

, by inviting experts to enlighten the fruitfulness of these activities,more and more advanced age

city_dwellers

Correct your spelling

city dwellers

would be absorbed in gyms as they usually trust in doctors more than others.

Moreover

Linking Words

,providing some subsidies from governments could be beneficial

Linking Words

similarly

Replace the word

similar

show examples

Check wording

way.

show examples

To explain,enhancing the pensions of needy people or even introducing some incentives,

such

Linking Words

as free of charge sports courses,

seem

Correct subject-verb agreement

seems

show examples

to be impressive to attract individuals to

this

Linking Words

sector,which eventually,will bestow some advantages to their body health and

as well

Rephrase

apply

show examples

their mental issues.

To conclude

Linking Words

,by recognising the contributors behind the reluctance of

elderlies

Check wording

the elderly

show examples

toward exercising,like their unawareness about its favourable influences,

this

Linking Words

issue would not be an insurmountable drawback anymore.

For example

Linking Words

,encouraging them by pulling

their information up

Correct word order

up their information

show examples

about its affirmative effects on the process of curing their illnesses or even enrolling them in courses that are held without tuition will

emerge

Verb problem

prove

show examples

to be efficient.

drpnima

May 28, 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help the reader follow your ideas easily.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas better. This will improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.

task achievement

You clearly identified the causes of the problem and provided some solutions, which shows good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay follows a logical order, and you have made a good attempt to connect your ideas, which is a positive aspect.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Agree or disagree ?

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Some people say international sports event help in world peace? Do you agree or disagree?

In some areas of the US , a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In the last few decades, there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media should have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?