Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

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In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contemporary era,
advent
Correct article usage
the advent

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in
Change preposition
of

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the
Correct article usage
apply

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technology has been enhancing our day to day life.
Moreover
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, people are able to attain various due to,
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this technological advancements
Change the determiner
this technological advancement
these technological advancements

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun advancements. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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..
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

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Wherever communities have many types of computer-based materials which are assisted to improve their life in a better manner. Even though some people argued that it has
huge
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hugely

It appears that the adjective huge is attempting to modify the adjective detrimental. Consider replacing it with an adverb.

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detrimental effects on individuals as well as the society.
This
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essay will focus on
above
Add an article
the above

The noun phrase above statement seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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statement and eventually, I will give my opinion.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, wherever the public is using social media apps without their control.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, individuals are trying to utilize increasingly their free time with these platforms.
For example
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, most of the time children were punished by their parents because they
concerned
Add a missing verb
were concerned

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about their worst demeanour and dedication to their education as they used Facebook,
WhatsApp
Correct word choice
and WhatsApp

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like
Change preposition
as

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digital access in daily routines without thinking about their learnings and families.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,it takes them self-centred and they automatically become selfish personalities.
Also
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, they try to live isolated band become a victim
by
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of

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destructive methods.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, society has the biggest impact which
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject the biggest impact. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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result
Add an article
the result
a result

The noun phrase result seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of social media.
Besides
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, some negative minded humans are attempting to spread fraud and controversial information among the community.
For instance
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, people who want to break the peace among different religious groups in society put hatred posts and viedios.
Consequently
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, it would make brutal incidents and the public would not be able to make their life easier. In conclusion, from my perspective, I believe that certainly, social media apps have
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word inferior.

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inferior effect on
single
Add an article
a single

The noun phrase single person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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person and a group of citizens.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Unless we become aware, makes serious problems
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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them. If we have the capability to utilize
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

apps in a productive way , can achieve our goals and have a chance to improve our standard lifestyle.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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