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Band 7

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
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Although
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 sending someone to prison is the common way to control crime in many countries, enhancing education can be more effective to tackle the problem from its root. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 statement because it is unreasonable to compare these two methods as each of them addresses the issue in different ways. On the one hand, receiving a sentence plays a vital role in social security.
First
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 of all, there should be a suitable way to punish communities that commit illegal actions in order to ensure the safety of other citizens. To illustrate
this
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, criminals will have more time to reflect on their illegal acts, they may change their awareness to become good citizens.
Moreover
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, the government imposes a prison sentence in order to set a good example for the public.
As a result
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, more and more people will be afraid to break the law owing to knowing that they will be isolated from society, lose their freedom and have a bad reputation.
On the other hand
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, education can be considered a way to deal with the problem from its root.
This
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 solution heightens people’s intellect and prevents the public from having heinous actions. If those are well-educated, they earn more knowledge about morality and the consequences of breaking the law.
Consequently
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, the number of criminals in society will be hopefully reduced in the future.
Additionally
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, in the prison, criminals have a chance to undergo vocational training that helps them earn their living when reintegrating into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. To sum up, I believe that these two methods solve the problem in different ways;
thus
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, we cannot make any comparisons between both of them and they should be used simultaneously to tackle the issue of crime.
Submitted by studywithmee.2022 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
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