IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group that they belong to than any other factors. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people’s #habits #age #group #factors
In
this
 day and
age
, '
people
 considering more on
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 group to determine shopping
habits
 than any other elements' has become a source of major controversy in the general public.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my way of thinking,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am inclined to believe that
age
 is important, but other factors
also
 play an important role in
determine
Change the verb form
determining
show examples
people
's shopping
habits
 On the one hand, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 numerous
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 groceries
habits
 depend more on the
age
 group. The
first
 one is that the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 buying things of
age
 groups
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 different.
For example
, in terms of
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
often desire to buy
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, drinks, games or something
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
related to entertainment,
therefore
 they frequently visit
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 or
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
. Regarding
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 population mostly from 30-50, they have the habit go shopping in the late afternoon, time that they just finish their tasks at
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. On the flip side,
people;s
Change the punctuation
people's
show examples
 shopping
habits
also
 rely on other factors.
Firstly
, youngsters or adults often devote a lot of time
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working and they suffer from a lot of pressure. As the result, they sometimes go shopping to enhance
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 spiritual prospect.
Secondly
, they want to show off their status and prove to everyone that they are affluent. But
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the aged
people
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 chances like youngsters to make new friends.
Therefore
, doing shopping in
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowded
show examples
 places is the only way for them to create new relationships and gossip with them. Having all the aforementioned arguments,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would conclude that
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 shopping
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 not only depend on
age
 group but
also
 other elements like
spirit
Add an article
a spirit
the spirit
show examples
 or making friends
Submitted by duongkt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • shopping habits
  • age group
  • generational differences
  • individual preferences
  • interests
  • socioeconomic factors
  • cultural influences
  • marketing strategies
  • advertising
  • online shopping
  • technology
What to do next:
Look at other essays: