IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
It is true that most of the authorities in most
countries
 have a goal
for
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of
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 improving
economy
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the economy
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 of their
countries
 as it is very important from their perspectives.
However
, some citizens point out that other various categories are as important as economic progress.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I strongly believe
with
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in
show examples
 the latter and discuss both of these views in
this
 essay.
First
 of all, governments have a tendency to do whatever it takes to enhance the
economy
 since they already believed that money is the most powerful source that can solve anything which might be related to any other types of progress and upgrade the standard
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of livings
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livings
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living
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 of
citizenry
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the citizenry
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 of their
countries
.
Also
, if wars happened between
countries
,
countries
 with stable financial
supports
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support
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 would likely
to
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apply
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have a better chance to win or
to stay
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staying
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 out of the conflict zones.
Moreover
, it is undeniable that if
economy
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the economy
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 of one country was great, the salaries of the people would be high and
unempoyment
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unemployment
 rates would
be low
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below
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 which is one of the best qualifications of
great
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a great
the great
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 country.
On the other hand
, opponents of
this
 phenomenon highlight that
physical
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the physical
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 and mental health of the people are more important than money. if ones
hurt
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is hurt
show examples
in
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apply
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physically or mentally, they can surely not work well which can result in falling in productivity and creativity that can
casue
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cause
 the declining effects on
economy
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the economy
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.
Furthermore
,
war
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a war
the war
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 which is the most
distrubing
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disturbing
 and
dispointing
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disappointing
 thing is the root of
economy
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the economy
show examples
 because
countries
 invaded each other since poverties in their
countries
 made them
to
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apply
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conquer
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 lands, resources and etc. To conclude, I pen down saying that both sides have
it's
Correct your spelling
their
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 own pros and cons,
however
,
economy
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the economy
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 has more demerits rather than merits so we can't possibly consider that it is the most important goal.
Submitted by ivvitest3 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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