Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and Education? Or is it the responsibilities of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?

It is now a debatable issue whether
influencial
Correct your spelling
influential
countries
are meant to distribute their
money
to some
countries
that are less privileged in terms of
food
and study. Or if the authorities of those
countries
should be held responsible for taking
care
of their natives as regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
feeding and studying. I totally agree with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
that
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
,
governments
Correct word choice
that governments
show examples
care
for their
citizens
themselves as
this
will curb embezzlement of public funds and as well encourages maximum participation in discharging their duties. On one hand, it is the right of the people to be taken
care
of by their authorities using the country's
wealth
no matter how negligible
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
money
they realize from natural mineral resources, forestry and taxes that are being
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
by the individuals.The main reason for collecting tax from the
citizens
is to raise
money
for their growth and comfortability in the nation,and in a situation where
this
is implemented, it will drastically reduce the rate at which the masse's
money
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
being stolen.
moreover
,
food
and
education
is seen as an integral part of every individual that exists on planet earth. Without
food
, there will be no growth while
education
is the key to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
brighter productive future developments,and when these are neglected,the nation tends to experience
set
Correct your spelling
setbacks
show examples
backs
Replace the word
back
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
every of its enterprise because they have diverted some of the
wealth
meant for the natives to better their lives for their own personal gains especially when the aim using those funds for the masse's
education
and feeding were not actualized.
Furthermore
, authorities have mushrooming dividends for a genre of sectors in their administration, that
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
care
of their
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
needs.
For example
, in Nigeria,there is a ministry of
food
and agriculture that takes
care
of everything concerning feeding in the country, making sure that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
are availability and accessibility of
food
throughout the year. When they are allowed to take
care
of their
citizens
,it tends to widen their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
ensures maximum participation as each sector has recognized their responsibilities and can go
extra
Add an article
the extra
show examples
mile to deliver as he believes that the mantle is on his shoulder.
On the other hand
,when other wealthy nations are allowed to distribute their
wealth
in taking
care
of poor
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
education
and
food
,it tends to promote over dependency and encourages stealing of available public funds as they will depend solely on foreign
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
aid in taking
care
of their responsibilities. Recent research made by professor Soyinka
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
suggested that
low
Correct article usage
the low
show examples
productivity and bad governance we experience witness today in our country are prompted by
Add a hyphen
over-reliance
show examples
over reliance
Correct your spelling
overreliance
show examples
on other international bodies for help on what should be their sole responsibility. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that it will be more advantageous
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if the governments will take
care
of their
citizens
themselves as
this
will limit
stealing
Correct article usage
the stealing
show examples
of the masse's
wealth
and encourages them to maximize their full potential in taking
care
of their duties in the nation. 377words
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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