Some people think that we live in a society where money and posessions are given too much importance. Others believe that this is improving our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #society #money #posessions #importance #lives

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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contemporary society,

materalism

Correct your spelling

materialism

and capitalism are the main themes in our everyday lives. Some believe the significance of

money

Use synonyms

has been overemphasised; while others thought that

this

Linking Words

can substantially improve our standard of living. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I shall put forth both sides of the discussion and give my own opinion on

this

Linking Words

issue.

Money

Use synonyms

is an important part of our everyday lives. It goes without saying that

money

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is essential for everyday living, including paying bills, providing necessities like food and drinks, and for various services we need.

Moreover

Linking Words

, capitalism can bring

Change preposition

apply

show examples

wealth

for

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Tax for goods and other services provide revenue for the community, which in turn, can help develop various industries like commerce, manufacturing and retailing.

This

Linking Words

will boost

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

rates and sharpen the competitive edge of our society,

thus

Linking Words

improving

standard

Add an article

the standard

show examples

of living for its citizens.

However

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

believe

money

Use synonyms

has been

overate

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overeating

overeaten

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. The primary reason is

because

Replace the word

that

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there are many things which cannot be achieved with

money

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Although

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

is extremely powerful and useful, some essentials simply cannot be purchased. Health and happiness are some striking examples which cannot be bought even with

abundance

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the abundance

an abundance

show examples

of wealth.

Furthermore

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, love and care from friends and family members are priceless, and no amount

cash

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of cash

show examples

can replace

this

Linking Words

Thus

Linking Words

, it is obvious that we should not attach

Correct your spelling

too

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much value to

money

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and wealth. In conclusion,

money

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has many advantages but it cannot be viewed as omnipotent. I am inclined to believe,

apart

Correct word choice

that apart

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from

money

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, health, happiness, love and care

also

Linking Words

play strong roles and we should not place too much importance on

money

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and possession.

Submitted by ichtsang on Mon May 30 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some people think that we live in a society where money and posessions are given too much importance. Others believe that this is improving our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rate. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can the government do to reduce the amount of waste produced?

Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that hoobies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extend do agree or disagree?

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?