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Band 6

The best way to make roads safer is to make drivers take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#roads #drivers #test #year
There are many car accidents
happen
Correct pronoun usage
that happen
show examples
 each year.
Although
 some
people
 think the greatest way to create a safer driving environment is to request
drivers
 to take a driving
test
 annually, I believe that it can be solved more efficiently.
To begin
 with, the
government
 can ask
drivers
 who used to involve in car accidents to attend a safety
course
. By participating in
this
course
,
people
 can gain more knowledge about how to drive cautiously.
Furthermore
, I think
drivers
 should take a safety
course
 before they drive or ride on the road.
For example
,
people
 need to attend a pre-
course
 after they pass the driving
test
 in Taiwan. After they finish that
course
, they can get their driver’s licenses.
Moreover
, the
government
 can request
people
 whose accident rates are more than once to attend more advanced courses or even ask them to retake the driving
test
.
On the other hand
, if the
government
 requests every driver to retake a driving
test
 each year, it is a waste of
government
 expenditures. The
government
 must increase the budget to pay for examiners. Meanwhile, requesting
drivers
 to take a driving
test
 annually is wasting all
drivers
’ time.
Also
, it is unfair to ask all
drivers
 to retake the
test
 in order to make the road safer. In my opinion, the
government
 should only educate and punish those who are easily involved in car accidents rather than asking the whole society to take
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 situation. To sum up, our driving environment cannot be improved in one way. While proposing
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
retake a driving
test
 each year to create a safer driving environment is a solution, I think there are still other more efficient methods to solve
this
 problem.
Submitted by vivian.88610 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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