IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to make roads safer is to make drivers take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#roads #drivers #test #year
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There are many car accidents
happen
Correct pronoun usage
that happen
show examples
 each year.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think the greatest way to create a safer driving environment is to request
drivers
Use synonyms
 to take a driving
test
Use synonyms
 annually, I believe that it can be solved more efficiently.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
government
Use synonyms
 can ask
drivers
Use synonyms
 who used to involve in car accidents to attend a safety
course
Use synonyms
. By participating in
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can gain more knowledge about how to drive cautiously.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I think
drivers
Use synonyms
 should take a safety
course
Use synonyms
 before they drive or ride on the road.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to attend a pre-
course
Use synonyms
 after they pass the driving
test
Use synonyms
 in Taiwan. After they finish that
course
Use synonyms
, they can get their driver’s licenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 can request
people
Use synonyms
 whose accident rates are more than once to attend more advanced courses or even ask them to retake the driving
test
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the
government
Use synonyms
 requests every driver to retake a driving
test
Use synonyms
 each year, it is a waste of
government
Use synonyms
 expenditures. The
government
Use synonyms
 must increase the budget to pay for examiners. Meanwhile, requesting
drivers
Use synonyms
 to take a driving
test
Use synonyms
 annually is wasting all
drivers
Use synonyms
’ time.
Also
Linking Words
, it is unfair to ask all
drivers
Use synonyms
 to retake the
test
Use synonyms
 in order to make the road safer. In my opinion, the
government
Use synonyms
 should only educate and punish those who are easily involved in car accidents rather than asking the whole society to take
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation. To sum up, our driving environment cannot be improved in one way. While proposing
people
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
retake a driving
test
Use synonyms
 each year to create a safer driving environment is a solution, I think there are still other more efficient methods to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Submitted by vivian.88610 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • up-to-date
  • traffic laws and regulations
  • promoting road safety
  • problematic drivers
  • age-related issues
  • deteriorating driving skills
  • cost and logistics
  • prohibitive
  • undue burden
  • guaranteeing improved road safety
  • alternative measures
  • road infrastructure
  • enhanced public transportation
  • stricter penalties
  • traffic violations
  • effective
  • ensuring road safety
  • technological advancements
  • driver-assistance systems
  • autonomous vehicles
  • human error factor
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