In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Recently, more and more people
consider
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considering
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teaching
children
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at
home
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.
Therefore
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, the debate on whether studying at
home
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can benefit
children
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has been heated. As far as I am concerned, pupils can learn some important social skills in
school
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than at
home
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. In
this
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essay, I will outline the pros and cons and illustrate my own opinion.
To begin
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with, parents can control the information received by
children
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through
homeschool
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homeschooling
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. As
children
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may not have comprehensive moral values, they may listen to or follow their peers' behaviours in order to gain approval in
school
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.
For example
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, students may become violent to avoid becoming victims.
Therefore
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, Parents can stop the bad behaviours and teach them the right moral
value
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values
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if studying at
home
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which can create a good character for pupils.
On the other hand
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, studying at
school
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can boost the ability for interpersonal communication. As
school
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gathers lots of students of similar
age
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ages
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,
children
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can learn to communicate with others and deal with people.
For instance
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, kids may need to share and learn to compromise
while
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they are playing.
Therefore
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, a sense of selflessness can be built up for
children
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as they will consider others more often subliminally once they get
along with
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a group of people
instead
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of their family. In conclusion,
although
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educating
children
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at
home
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can prevent them from learning bad behaviours, it is more important for kids to learn interpersonal communication. As human beings living in a group, it is crucial to know how to communicate with others.
Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on

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task response
Strengthen the introduction by briefly summarizing both sides before stating your opinion to provide a clearer transition to your own viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas in the body paragraphs to better guide the reader through your argument.
task response
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining the writer's perspective.
task response
The examples provided, such as children learning to compromise, are relevant and help support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, with arguments and counterarguments addressed in a balanced manner.
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