IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study at home. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #information #internet #study #home
While some people believe that
children
 can learn things from the
internet
, and make them
study
 at home , others claim that there is nothing bad in going to
school
. From my point of view, I agree with the latter view and think that going to
school
 can
also
 bring many benefits to
children
 in many ways. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail. On one hand, the
internet
 become an important part of our life ,especially for
children
. Many adults think that using technology to involve kids' in education is a great way to
study
. Some parents think that their
children
 can search for information on the
internet
 by themselves. It is true that the
internet
 has everything that you have to question but it can lead your kid in a negative way more than you thought.
On the other hand
, the obvious of letting your kids learn through the
internet
 can make they can not merge into society. To illustrate, students who
study
 through the
internet
 will not have social
skills
such
 as communication
skills
 and basic
skills
. These
skills
 are essential for
children
 in the future.
Moreover
, the resource on the
internet
 might be fake so
this
 can leads your, child, to know incorrect information.
In addition
, going to
school
 is very important because they can play and
study
 along with their friends. To summarize, it is true that students should use technology in daily life to look up the information , but
also
 need to go to
school
 to make some real friends not online friends and improve social
skills
.
Submitted by Choenkhwan1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: