IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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Nowadays, economics has become a fascinating thing for a
country
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. Numerous governments believe that economic development is their priority aim. Meanwhile, a handful of
people
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 argue that other sorts of progress should give equal attention and importance to others. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss that other kinds of progress are important as economic.
To begin
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 with, these days, working on economic development is a crucial thing that has been done by governments more than in other areas. To illustrate, the USA have a well living style
such
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 as good health and education and a big range of salary due to the huge economy that it had.
Moreover
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, the value of a
country
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 consists of two principal things health, and education and without a massive
economy
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,economy
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 it would not be possible to achieve it.
In other words
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, enough money to support and funds them.
In addition
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, in the
last
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 pandemic, all developing countries were waiting for developed countries to create and develop vaccines even though they have purchased at an enormous price, which, makes it hard, and challenging for poor countries.
As a result
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, many lives would die due to the poor economy that cannot afford to purchase vaccines.
On the other hand
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, neglecting other areas
such
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 as culture and art will get terrific results in terms of society.
For instance
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, nowadays, art becomes vital across the world, and lots of
people
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 consume a variety of music
such
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 as, recently, a famous Korean band play a key for sharing the culture of their
country
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. Eventually, the desire to visit their
country
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 increased among
people
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. What is more,
people
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 around the world started to consume their clothing brands and even their Korean food.
Furthermore
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, culture is quite important to pay the attention needed which, can return benefits in different things
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 tourism and attracting investment in the
country
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 from abroad. To sum up, balance working on various sorts of progress equally is more important than only in economic which will balance all the required things for the society.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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