IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that technology such as mobile phones has destroyed social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #phones #interaction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
it is important that modern technology
involvation
Correct your spelling
innovation
 play an imperative role in human' s life and cell phone has great contribution to
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
 social interaction.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 personally believe that excessive use of
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 has
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
 impact on social communication. to commence with the view of
aggreement
Correct your spelling
agreement
 that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant number of people spend their quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time on mobile
comment
Fix the agreement mistake
comments
show examples
 rather than
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 debate. to elaborate it, almost all age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of masses engross, so much in using
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
show examples
 dial for various purposes in
this
Linking Words
 turn they are not more likely to
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
.
moreover
Linking Words
, individuals
entertainment
Replace the word
entertain
show examples
 themselves by using mobile phones
instead
Linking Words
 of spending their time with loving ones.
for instance
Linking Words
, i headline of " the
moscow
Change the capitalization
Moscow
show examples
 times" revealed that 7 out of 10 people devoted their more while to cell phones whether
entertainment
Change preposition
for entertainment
show examples
 or study purposes.
as a result
Linking Words
, spending long hours in front of
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
depleting
Wrong verb form
depletes
show examples
 the trend of social exchange in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era.
furthermore
Linking Words
, plenty of information is searched on mobile phones
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
along
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 which was got from either grandparents or parents in the ancient and
thus
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 practice
also
Linking Words
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 conversation.
also
Linking Words
, folks keep in touch with their friends and relatives by texting messages or making or receiving phone calls
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 them in spite of meeting at their homes.
for instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
indian
Correct article usage
the indian
show examples
 government in 2015, found that more
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 60%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 do not like to social
intract
Correct your spelling
interact
contract
 in these days.
hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has been replaced by contact communication which has negative effects on social consultation. in conclusion, overspending amount of moment on the mobile not only for searching
material
Change preposition
for material
show examples
 related to study but
also
Linking Words
 for enjoyment has damaged social interaction.
Submitted by rajpalkaurchd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: