IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch.

#company #place #hotel #feedback #participants #food #lunch
Dear Sir, I am writing to express
dissapointment
Correct your spelling
disappointment
 of
parcticipants
Correct your spelling
participants
 with
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
food
.
It and
Correct pronoun usage
And
show examples
 my team would
be say
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
your hotel is too neat and clean.
In your
Change preposition
Your
show examples
 hotel has
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 whole with one hundred sitting chairs at one time. Which could be loved by participants. They
also
 liked the location of your hotel.
Moreover
, your reception area is
too
Rephrase
very
show examples
 friendly.
However
, they are not happy with your
food
 which served in lunch because the waiting time is long.
Furthermore
, what
food
 they
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
 to eat sometimes
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your menu. I
wolud
Correct your spelling
would
 like to suggest you that hire more
chef
Fix the agreement mistake
chefs
show examples
 and staff so they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
cook on time and serve the
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
.
In addition
, add different types of
cousines
Correct your spelling
cuisines
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your menu
for instance
italian
Change the capitalization
Italian
show examples
food
.
This
 could probably daunting the heart of participants. I am hoping that the
food
 quality will improve in future. Wishing you a great day. Yours faithfully, Sarb
Submitted by jeetsarb1481965 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General Advice
To further improve your writing, consider paying close attention to spelling and grammar. Regular practice and reading can significantly enhance your accuracy.
Sentence Structure
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. Using complex sentences effectively can showcase your language skills.
Vocabulary Development
Incorporating synonyms effectively can demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary. Try to use different words to express the same idea.
Task Achievement
Your letter effectively communicates the issue at hand and offers constructive suggestions to resolve it.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your letter is well organized, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You have included specific examples to back up your points, which makes your argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: