IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today’s world,
although
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governments
Use synonyms
 and health
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 warn
people
Use synonyms
 about the harmful effects of smoking, many individuals still continue
this
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 habit.
This
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 is a serious problem in
people
Use synonyms
’s lives in terms of economic and social aspects.
However
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, there are some effective solutions that can reduce the number of
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
.
To begin
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 with, smoking has a lot of drawbacks not only for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 but
also
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 for society. Cigarettes cause serious
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
such
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 as cancer, heart problems and chronic breathing difficulties.
For example
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, thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 die every year from smoking-related illnesses
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 hospitals spend a large amount of money and resources treating these patients.
In addition
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, even if you are not a smoker, being around many
people
Use synonyms
 who smoke can still harm you and cause certain health issues.
Therefore
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, smoking creates both personal suffering and environmental problems.
Furthermore
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,
governments
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 and societies need to take steps to reduce smoking. One possible solution is to increase taxes on cigarettes. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
people
Use synonyms
 may think twice before buying them.
For instance
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, in some countries like Turkey, higher cigarette prices have already reduced consumption. Another effective solution is,
governments
Use synonyms
 have to
Verb problem
enforce stricts
show examples
stricts
Correct your spelling
strict
 rules. For
insantance
Correct your spelling
instance
, smoking should not be allowed in crowded places or restaurants. In some European countries
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as in Turkey,
people
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 are still allowed to smoke freely in outdoor restaurants with gardens and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to discomfort for families with children or for
people
Use synonyms
 who do not smoke.
To sum up
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,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 conclusion, smoking remains a major concern as it affects both individuals and society by causing health, social and economic problems.
However
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, by introducing higher taxes, strict regulations, and awareness campaigns,
governments
Use synonyms
 can significantly reduce the number of smokers.

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grammar
Fix many grammar mistakes and spelling errors so the meaning is clear.
organization
Use one idea per paragraph and give a clear link to the next idea.
content
Add more clear steps and plan on how to cut smoking, with more than one example.
style
Use easy words and short sentences to be easy to read.
task response
You state the problem and give a plan of action.
examples
You give real places as examples, like Turkey.
content
You mention both health and money effects.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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