IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods
Some
people
 argue that we no longer remember the original meaning of
festivals
 and that most of us treat them as opportunities to have fun. While I agree that enjoyment seems to be the priority during festival times, I disagree that
people
 have forgotten what these
festivals
 mean. Admittedly, religious and traditional
festivals
 have certainly become times for celebration. In China, Dragon Boat Festival is a good example of a festival period when
people
 are most concerned with shopping, sending and receiving gifts, and enjoying traditional meals with their families. Most
people
 look forward to it as a holiday period, rather than a time to commemorate a hero. Similar behaviour can be seen during religious
festivals
,
such
 as Christmas.
People
 associate
this
 occasion with decorating their homes, watching firework displays, and perhaps going to large events in shopping malls or local parks,
in other words
, enjoyment is
people
’s primary goal.
Nevertheless
, I disagree with the idea that the underlying meaning of
festivals
 has been forgotten. In China, children learn in detail about the reasons for celebrating the Dragon Boat Festival, the Spring Festival and a variety of
festivals
.
For example
, in early June, they usually sing songs in memory of Qu Yuan, and may even perform musical plays telling the story of his death. Families
also
 play an important role in passing on the knowledge of
festivals
’ deeper significance to the
next
 generation. The same is true for
festivals
 that have a religious background
such
 as Christmas, in the sense that they generally learn the stories behind these occasions at an early age. In conclusion,
although
people
 mainly want to enjoy themselves during
festivals
, I believe that they are still aware of the reasons for these celebrations.
Submitted by 1193894576 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
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