IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Today, many people are suffering from health problems because of fast food the Government should tax higher fast food what is your opinion about this?

#people #health #food #government #tax
Nowadays, some
people
 are a pain in from
health
 issues due to fast
food
.
Governments
 do not care enough about the
health
 of their own societies. In my point of view,
governments
 should not only imply higher
taxes
 on fast
food
 but
also
 that government should pay attention to their own community's
health
 conditions
such
 as free dietitian support and encourages healthy foods. Undoubtedly,consuming too much fast
food
 leads to many
health
-related concerns.To tackle
this
, when
governments
 apply higher
taxes
 on junk and processed
food
 policy, could we reduce the consumption of these foods.
On the other hand
, higher
taxes
 are not enough to prevent
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 issue because some
people
 are not conscious of living healthy.
For example
,
governments
 maintain regular free dietitian support for their own communities, and higher
taxes
 have not played a big role in
this
 issue.
People
 may learn how to take nourishment in a healthy approach thanks to dietitians.Society's consciousness has become more beneficial than before.
On the other hand
, high
taxes
 provide
people
 with many problems.society who have a lower income will not affordable when tax increases.
However
,
this
 is a direct
way
,but not an effective
way
.
Therefore
, equal conditions should be offered by
governments
 and higher
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 are not still the
first
 and foremost solution for preventing
this
way
. In a nutshell,
health
 problems are playing a big role in our lives.
Hence
, the consumption of fast
food
 has increased rapidly.
Governments
 not only imply higher
taxes
 on processed
food
 but
also
 care about economical equality and sufficient support from dietitians.To me, higher
taxes
 are not an effective
way
 of preventing well-being issues,
people
 conditions should be balanced lifestyles.
Submitted by idilim1230 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health ramifications
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Chronic diseases
  • Healthcare expenditures
  • Fiscal measures
  • Public health policy
  • Sin tax
  • Nutritional value
  • Preventative health care
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Nutritional literacy
  • Consumer behavior
  • Food desert
  • Heart disease
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Metabolic syndrome
  • Balanced diet
  • Processed foods
  • Health equity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: