IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You are organising a local committee meeting. You would like a local MP to attend the meeting to contribute to a discussion about green areas in the community. Write a letter of invitation to the MP's secretary, Mrs Shelton. In your letter •introduce your committee •say why you are having the meeting •invite the MP to attend Write about 150 words. You do not need to write addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear…

#committee #mp #discussion #areas #community #invitation #secretary #mrs #shelton #•introduce #•say #•invite #addresses #dear…
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Dear Mrs Shelton, I have been an active member of the committee called Ecolife in the neighbourhood of Yangi Hayat since 2020 and the reason why I am writing is to invite you to take part in an important local meeting we are having next Friday, which falls on the 26th of January. When it comes to our committee that was established during COVID-19 in order to keep our hometown clean and protect the green world of the area. So far, we have succeeded in fulfilling several initiatives,
such
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 as planting trees, involving as many people as possible in doing community work, and so on. These days, we are organising an assembly so as to prevent air pollution, water pollution, a variety of gases or chemicals from factories
as well as
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 emissions from private cars. During the forum, we are going to bring up the topic of sustainable transport, especially electrocars. I would appreciate it if you could pay a visit to
this
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 meeting to share your thoughts and experiences with us. I look forward to seeing you in person at the meeting on the forthcoming Friday. Yours sincerely, Sharifa
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity when introducing the committee. The description of the committee was slightly abrupt and may confuse the reader. Providing a smoother transition into the committee's background and achievements would improve the logical flow of the text.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing each paragraph around a single theme or idea. The third paragraph introduces multiple ideas which could be more effectively separated into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
It is crucial in task achievement that the purpose of the meeting and its topics are clearly communicated. While you briefly mention the discussion of sustainable transport, providing a more detailed agenda could give the invitation greater persuasiveness and relevance.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is formal and polite, which is suitable when addressing a professional such as an MP's secretary. Maintain this tone in future correspondence.
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