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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #home #development
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In many countries,
people
 prefer to buy a house rather than renting. I believe that owning a property is a sign of positive development for most countries and
people
 feel more secure to work their whole life for something that lasts through time.
First,
when Banks grant loans, ideally with low rates, for future buyers to invest in their own property , it means that the country is wealthy and economically safe.
Then
, owning a home is often a goal for most households in their lives which reassures them for the future.
For instance
, when landowners retire, no matter how much is their pension,they will always keep their house.
Therefore
,
people
 work their whole lives to pay a mortgage and think it is worth it because ownership allows
people
 to create patrimony and
can
Verb problem
apply
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pass it on to their children, which is crucial for families as well .
For example
, when parents pass away, children inherit their belongings which can have a sentimental value. In opposition, some
people
 are more keen on renting because of personal or professional reasons; Indeed, they prefer to rent a short-term let or a furnished home in order to be able to move several times in a short period. As an aside, when couples become parents, they need more room for welcoming their newborn and it is easier to move for a bigger home when they are tenants. In conclusion, I think that owning a property is essential in life to ensure the future. I do agree that
this
 is a sign of good development to count more owners than tenants in a country because it makes their destiny safer.
Submitted by leared on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there's a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to structure your essay logically. You've done well, but more distinctive transitions and paragraphing could enhance readability and flow.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, briefly outline the causes and whether it's a positive or negative development. This sets up clear expectations for your reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
In supporting your main points, try to use a wider range of examples and evidence. While the references to mortgages and inheritance are good, incorporating statistics or studies could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your view, but it could be enhanced by briefly restating the main reasons for your position, making it more impactful.
Task Achievement
Though you've mentioned an opposing view about renting, integrating it more seamlessly into your discussion could improve the balance of your essay. Consider comparing and contrasting ownership and renting within the same sections rather than segregating the perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural norms
  • symbol of success
  • long-term investment
  • financial security
  • asset appreciation
  • personal autonomy
  • modify surroundings
  • social significance
  • tax deductions
  • generational wealth
  • community engagement
  • housing bubble
  • real estate market
  • economic stability
  • mortgage financing
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