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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#friends #support
No doubt, old is gold.
Life
 without
friends
 is like
life
 without air. So,
friends
 play a paramount role in everyone's
life
. As old
friends
 know more about one's positive and negative points,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I agree with the statement that keeping a good
relationship
 with childhood
friends
 is more crucial than making new
friends
. First and foremost, old
friends
 are those with whom one can trust blindly and share everything regarding their personal or professional
life
 circumstances.
On the other hand
, it takes time to
buildup
Correct your spelling
build
show examples
this
 type of
relationship
 with new
friends
.
For example
, I can share my family issues and personal
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with my best friend
while
 I hesitate to discuss all these things with my colleagues whom I met a few months ago.
In addition
 to
this
, I believe that there is more understanding between old
friends
 as they know more about one's weaknesses and strengths, as they already
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 many years together.
For example
, my school friend always recognises my sadness even on the phone just by hearing my voice. I think that type of
relationship
 is priceless.
Moreover
, individuals have lots of unforgettable memories with their teenage
friends
 and they have to create
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
friends
.
Hence
, we already have a good
relationship
 with old
friends
 and we need to spend extra time to make a good
bonding
Replace the word
bond
show examples
 with new
friends
. In conclusion, school friendship creates many memories, trust and
bonding
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
 between individuals which can not be forgotten. Whenever anyone feels to have someone by his side to understand him properly, it can be only old
friends
 as they know you better than anyone else. So, I think that having a good
relationship
 with old
friends
 is more essential than finding and building new relationships with new people.
Submitted by sdeepkaur9 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting arguments in favor of keeping old friends over making new friends. The examples provide specific reasons to support the writer's position. Expand on the opposing viewpoint and provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from stronger transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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