young people who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adults by authorities. Agree or Disagree?

It would be argued by some that the youth
people
who are wrongdoers should be punished just like mature
people
. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that it should need to depend on other cases. On the one hand,
people
think that all dangerous crimes should be solved by heavy punishment. It is true that youngsters are an alarming issue these days. Severe punishment could act as a deterrent to those
people
intend
Correct pronoun usage
who intend
show examples
to commit crimes.
Furthermore
, if young offenders receive leniency from authorities, they will not aware of their unlawful
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and adverse consequences and
thus
, they can re-offend.
This
lead to danger for
people
around them and a threat to the whole society.
On the other hand
, I believe that
however
, there are some cases that commit crimes by young could not same compared with mature wrongdoers.
Firstly
, sometimes
children
break the law just because they mimic the
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
of adults or they are forced to do so.
For example
, there are some cases
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
mature offenders give
children
a box and do not tell them what is inside, after that
children
are forced to deliver
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
other
people
. When
children
are busted, they know it is drugs and they have to take full responsibility for that.
Therefore
if authorities put them in jail, it is regrettable for the
next
generation.
Furthermore
, some young commit murder just because they want to
self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
show examples
or protect their relatives.
For example
, my
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
has a case very regrettable about that. She has a son and her husband always hit her after drinking alcohol. One time, her son witnessed his father's violence
with
Change preposition
toward
show examples
his mother and he just wanted to protect his mother. After that, he
was kill
Change the verb form
killed
show examples
his father. In conclusion, the reasons mentioned above. I believe that young wrongdoers should be not punished just like adults.
Submitted by Eteacher on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: