IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Others say that it is getting easier. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion?

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In today's life, most
people
Use synonyms
 are complaining about difficulties in modern and big
cities
Use synonyms
 whilst others think it increasingly provides more facilities. I agree with the first view because of the economic burden and rising density of the population, even though it can give benefits to
people
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 who live in villages.
To begin
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 with, most individuals suffer from increasing rent costs and expensive services in big
cities
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.
That is
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 because a wide range of
people
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 come to huge
cities
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 in order to get fulfilling jobs and better education.
However
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, it likely causes insufficient health services, food and residences in megapolices, thereby governments continue to increase the costs for all of the fields.
For instance
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,
although
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 Qatar is the most wealthy country on the planet,
due to
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 a lack of land, flat prices are extremely high for citizens.
On the other hand
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, a remarkable amount of
people
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believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
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 that mega policies have enormous benefits for them.
In other words
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, they can find easily satisfying jobs and get enriched education in big
cities
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.
For example
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, New York is the biggest city in the whole world;
therefore
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, most companies and high-ranked universities are situated in the centre of Wall Street easing job opportunities for all individuals.
Consequently
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, mega policies give a wide range of benefits to the
people
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 who move to big
cities
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 from rural regions. In conclusion,
while
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 growing prices deteriorate the condition of the
cities
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, job and education choices can be beneficial for individuals.
Moreover
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, I think that mega policies have more disadvantages
due to
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 expensive lifestyles.

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task response
Ensure a clearer distinction between the two perspectives in the introduction. You could rephrase 'I agree with the first view' to 'I align more closely with the perspective that living in big cities is becoming more difficult.'
coherence and cohesion
Improve linking words and phrases between sentences to enhance flow. For instance, consider using phrases like 'On one hand,' and 'Conversely,' to better transition between contrasting views.
task response
Provide more specific examples related to the disadvantages of living in big cities to support your argument better and create a more balanced view.
task response
The essay addresses both points of view and provides a clear opinion, which is important for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively present the main themes of the essay, giving it a solid structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • cost of living
  • traffic congestion
  • commute time
  • employment opportunities
  • access to services
  • cultural diversity
  • digital infrastructure
  • smart city initiatives
  • public services
  • quality of life
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