In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#countries #prison #crime #people #education #disagree？

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These days government place a premium on a safer society. Some people think,

Correct word choice

that in

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case to have a better community, you should provide

Remove the article

apply

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better education, while other argue,

prison

Correct word choice

that prison

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is an effective way. In my view

good

Correct article usage

a good

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educational system will be having more effect. To advance a convincing theory I could deal with,

impact

Add an article

the impact

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of childhood

Change preposition

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future life. I have searched a lot about

this

Linking Words

topic.

for instance

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, carefree childhood or a close-knit family. When you live in a loving family, they can easily teach you what is right and what is wrong. In

future

Add a comma

,future

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you try your best to avoid the wrong

things

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

instead

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of science and math that

are

Change the verb form

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taught in schools, we need to know more about crimes, how to protect

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

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and how to reduce

this

Linking Words

stuff.

For example

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, you will know that stealing and killing other people is illegal.

Although

Linking Words

past memories and lessons that are taught, are contributing factors, for some people the worse situation that they have like, bankruptcy or poverty

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

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them to steal

things

Use synonyms

or sometimes their life is in danger. To be honest, if I were in their shoe, maybe I do the same

things

Use synonyms

As a result

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, having a prison is really important. As I have mentioned before, we can’t decline crime to zero. To conclude, all in all, gone is the idea of, these lessons are really important, there are other

things

Use synonyms

we need to know so as to have a better life and a brighter future.

Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on Sat Jun 04 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

In some developing countries it is difficult to recruit teachers to work in remote and rural areas and this can have a serious impact on education in these regions. Why do many teachers not want to work in these areas? What can be done to encourage teachers to take up posts in these regions?

In order to solve traffic jams and home problems, people believe that it can be solved by removing companies, factories and employees to country side. To what extend do you agree?

Some people believe that radio is the best source to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion with relevant examples?

Describe a story from a book or film that you enjoyed. You should say: where you read/saw/etc. it when you read/saw/etc. it what the story was about and explain why you enjoyed it.

Many people are moving from rural areas to big cities. Why has this happened? To what extent do you think it is a good trend?