IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

#people #competition #children
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In a society , where moving
further
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 is
basic
Add an article
a basic
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 need , it may be in
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
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 phase or at any speed , but it should not be in
relax
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relaxed
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 state . For getting ahead or to brush up personality , competition
as well as co-operation among individuals
Add the comma(s)
, as well as co-operation among individuals,
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 should be thought in order to get healthy and balance
life
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the life
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 cycle To initiate with being helping bond , it is clear that one who is
alwayas
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always
 ready for helping others or working in
group
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a group
show examples
 will get result easily , whereas social bond between them
also
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 get stronger ,
moreover
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 getting a desirable result
become
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to become
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eassy
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easy
essay
 and it
also
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help
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helps
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 others to grow. During
a
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apply
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task management where individuals work together it
enhance
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enhances
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 their knowledge ,
for instance
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 , in a car company when to or more people's work together they get new ideas about
design
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the design
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 of
car
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the car
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 as
wall
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well
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 as brief
informationa
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information
informational
 about various
this
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such
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 as
strength
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the strength
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 of
material
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the material
a material
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 On the contemporary side ,
a healthy and maintained challenges
Correct the article-noun agreement
healthy and maintained challenges
a healthy and maintained challenge
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 should be organised it
enhance
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enhances
show examples
self
clearity
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clarity
 about skills children have ,
furthermore
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 it enhance them to work on their skills .
Besides
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 from
this
Linking Words
alot
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a lot
 of studies were
examinded
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examined
 by tribune
news paper
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newspaper
show examples
 about healthy
competion
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competition
 and the results were
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quite
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quiet
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quite
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 shocking because it helps scholars to get know about their worth and
demarits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 and they can brush up
them
Change preposition
on them
show examples
 and get good results In brief , I conclude that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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competition and cooperation both
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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its
Change the word
a
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 major effective role but both should be in
Add an article
a well
the well
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well maintained
Add a hyphen
well-maintained
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 format so that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 effective outcome may be obtained
Submitted by stenisidhu.003 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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