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Band 4.5

Some people say that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

#people #competition #children
In a society , where moving
further
 is
basic
Add an article
a basic
show examples
 need , it may be in
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
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 phase or at any speed , but it should not be in
relax
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relaxed
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 state . For getting ahead or to brush up personality , competition
as well as co-operation among individuals
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, as well as co-operation among individuals,
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 should be thought in order to get healthy and balance
life
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the life
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 cycle To initiate with being helping bond , it is clear that one who is
alwayas
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always
 ready for helping others or working in
group
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a group
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 will get result easily , whereas social bond between them
also
 get stronger ,
moreover
 getting a desirable result
become
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to become
show examples
eassy
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easy
essay
 and it
also
help
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helps
show examples
 others to grow. During
a
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apply
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task management where individuals work together it
enhance
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enhances
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 their knowledge ,
for instance
 , in a car company when to or more people's work together they get new ideas about
design
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the design
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 of
car
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the car
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 as
wall
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well
show examples
 as brief
informationa
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information
informational
 about various
this
such
 as
strength
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the strength
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 of
material
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the material
a material
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 On the contemporary side ,
a healthy and maintained challenges
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healthy and maintained challenges
a healthy and maintained challenge
show examples
 should be organised it
enhance
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enhances
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self
clearity
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clarity
 about skills children have ,
furthermore
 it enhance them to work on their skills .
Besides
 from
this
alot
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a lot
 of studies were
examinded
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examined
 by tribune
news paper
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newspaper
show examples
 about healthy
competion
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competition
 and the results were
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quite
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quiet
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quite
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 shocking because it helps scholars to get know about their worth and
demarits
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demerits
 and they can brush up
them
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on them
show examples
 and get good results In brief , I conclude that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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competition and cooperation both
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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its
Change the word
a
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 major effective role but both should be in
Add an article
a well
the well
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well maintained
Add a hyphen
well-maintained
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 format so that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 effective outcome may be obtained
Submitted by stenisidhu.003 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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