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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age .Purnishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction . To what extent do you agree or disagree ? What sort of purnishment should patents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children ?

#children #difference #right #age #purnishment #distinction #sort #patents #teachers #behaviour
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It is obvious that
children
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 should be taught the difference between right and wrong decisions in their childhood. Some individuals find it quite useful if their child knows that he will be punished because of inappropriate behaviour. In my essay, I argue with that idea by talking about some of the punishments and giving my opinion. Nowadays,
children
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 are spoiled and sassy as their
parents
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 or nannies behave too kind and loyal toward them. Kids are cracking new toys, and acting rude and noisy to their peers and even adults for the reason of being unlimited in actions and having a lack of stable upbringing in early childhood. They should have explained to their kids that they might crack their toys if they acted too rude to them.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 child can become a rude bully and continue to act the same way until he is punished by law, as he already would become an adult. If I were a parent, I would have a tirade to my offspring about how to be nice and act as a well-mannered kid.
As a result
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, in the future, they will become intelligent and raised right youngsters.
On the other hand
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, some
parents
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 or teachers can hurt
children
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's feelings by frightening them. Adults can scream or even beat their
children
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 for unlikely behaviour or unsuccess.
Children
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 who face that terrifying accident become unsure of themself and have a sense of insecurity. That means these
children
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 become very vulnerable to the real world and suffer from self-confidence even by facing small obstacles on their life path.
Therefore
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, when scolding their
children
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,
parents
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 should not use force or raise their voices strongly, but their explanation should be clear. In conclusion, some
children
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 can behave rudely and wildly but there is always a limit, which adults should inform their
children
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 about, without hurting their feelings.
Parents
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 should communicate with their kids and be role models for them.
Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Create a logical flow throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and lead smoothly into the next, using appropriate transition words.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with clear explanations, examples or evidence that are directly related to the topic.
task achievement
Clearly respond to all parts of the task. Present your argument or viewpoint on the topic with sufficiently developed ideas.
task achievement
Express your ideas with clarity and depth. Ensure that you elaborate on your points so that they are comprehensive and easily understood.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to your point to support your argument. Generic examples may weaken your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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