IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays there is an increase in social problem involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give specific reason and examples to support your answer.

#people #parents #time #work #children #reason #support
Different types of problems created by society, as well as youth, are a crucial issue over the years. It is considered that these happen because of working
parents
 who do not get enough time for their children. I partially agree with
this
 statement and will add the main features behind the problem. To start, the young generation is said to be the light of a nation. These groups of people are usually energetic, enthusiastic, lovable, amicable,optimistic and helpful. But they sometimes are involved in odd activities and never come back. Some people believe that
parents
 are solely responsible as they are unaware of their
child
's activities. They spend less time with the
child
, are unknown about his or her friends and even fail to communicate with schools or colleges where the
child
 study. Teenagers take advantage of that circumstances and mislead themselves by doing illegal work.
For example
, weapons are becoming a serious issue in America as many pupils have been shot randomly to kill their teachers and friends recently.
However
, not every
child
 is spoiled in absence of their
parents
. Some study well, maintain well behaviour, establish rapport with members of society and have reputed jobs as well.
In addition
, these youths make their
parents
 proud and contribute to society by doing welfare without monitoring by the
parents
 constantly.
Such
 as, one orphan named Opera Winfrey is a very successful and powerful woman in American history and does a lot of charity work. In conclusion, I would like to say that in some situations young generations are out of control of their
parents
 as they have not much time for them to share.
On the other hand
, young boys and girls may succeed in life without
parents
.
Submitted by farzanarahman048 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: