Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Being rich is a gift and mostly hard work at the same time. It is crucial to help others in need if
one
is wealthy enough and eats 3 meals a day with no problem. I strongly agree with the given statement because it is important to think about others rather than turning a blind eye to poor people.
Firstly
, rich people who do charity live more happily than those who do not.
This
is because
although
one
has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealth it does not turn their lives to be easier and more comfortable.
For example
, my father has always told me that having money does not mean that
one
life is comfortable but more burdensome. I think I have realized it now because being wealthy does not solve anything.
One
has to earn it to be successful and even if they are in the place they expected to be, it is still vital to donate and share their property with those in need.
Moreover
, I have seen someone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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was wealthy but it did not
last
long so it is
also
important to invest in something useful and to live a successful life,
one
needs to assist someone who requires help.
Furthermore
, giving financial support to children from a low social status can save their future.
For instance
, some youngsters have no parents
and
Correct word choice
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leading them to spend the rest of their lives in orphanages which is upsetting but they have no choice. A wealthy society should focus on donating to organizations like these so that their lives could be better.
Therefore
, giving those adolescents an education to achieve a great career and have a stable life is helpful for them. A wealthy individual should do
this
often rather than spend it on others. In conclusion, I believe helping the poorer and weaker parts of society is a salient feature of being rich, and in fact, it can bring positive feelings to them and a glittering future for the children.
Submitted by htethtet2359 on

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task response
Address the task fully by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of being rich and its effect on helping others.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be improved by giving a clearer overview and a stronger closing statement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
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