Some people believe that consumerism is positive due to its impact on economic growth. While others think it is negative because it brings environmental and social issues. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Certain people think
consumerism
's affirmative influence on the state economy can surpass all disadvantages namely environmental and social problems. At the same time, the rest of the citizens suppose that it is incorrect. I disagree with the first given viewpoint since the well-being of nature and humans cannot be restored by any amount of money, but both sides will be disputed in this
essay.
First and foremost, consumerism
is fundamental in shaping and managing businesses in capitalist countries. To exemplify, according to
a macroeconomics article by The Economist magazine, almost 40% of the new customer base came from advertising in social media on a string of attraction strategies of consumerism
. Many of these customers purchase their object of attraction, which is the product of a rustler, and a tiny percentage of their sales, goes to the budget of the national government as a tax. Consumerism
in the business world is making it possible to have stable and passive income.
Conversely
, both of the given challenges cause huge problems, where consumerism
in society leads to a materialistic public that neglects other values as well
as
environmental problems are frequently associated with Correct word choice
and
consumerism
to the extent that industries have direct effects of consumption producing negative environmental externalities. For instance
, research by British Columbia University revealed that 29% of iPhones are being thrown away in order to buy the freshest version;
In a nutshell, I have to mention that it is superior to not letting consumerism
hurt the community and nature for the profit of the economy. Experts recommend to control themselves from unnecessary purchases.Submitted by Umar on
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task achievement
It is important to elaborate a bit more on your arguments and provide more specific and relevant examples to better support your points. This will help to clarify your ideas further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This will help to maintain coherence and cohesion, making your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Consider summarizing both points of view before stating your opinion in the conclusion to provide a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and states your opinion, which is a good start to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in readability.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the study from British Columbia University, which strengthens your argument to a certain extent.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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