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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some school are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, While other schools have a very relaxed dress code. (What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?)

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Some
schools
Use synonyms
 are very strict about their
school
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uniforms
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 and the appearance of their pupils, While other
schools
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 have a very relaxed dress code. In the following paragraph, I will outweigh the benefits and drawbacks of
children
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 when staying at
school
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. On the one hand,
School
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uniforms
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 make equal for
children
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.
Children
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 can not compare with who clothes are more expensive and more elegant. So,
Children
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 from poor families were buried by friends and hates to go to
school
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.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
Teachers
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 should be strict and force
students
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 to wear
school
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uniforms
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.
On the other hand
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, the Concept in the
second
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 paragraph is a popular reason for elderly
teachers
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 in Thailand was claimed. In spite
this
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 of, I think it very outdated mindset. From my experience in a country where all government
schools
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 are very strict in
uniforms
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 and hairstyles, I found that
regulations
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 make authoritarianism in
school
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.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
Teachers
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 can severely punish
children
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 if they wear
uniforms
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 different from
school
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regulations
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. In my
school
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,
Teachers
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 supervise by taking a ruler to measure the length of the dress uniform to prove a student's dress is not short than
school
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regulations
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.
Moreover
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, If
students
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 break a regulation,
Teachers
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 in the administrative department of the
school
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 have the authority to punish
students
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think
this
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 action of the teacher makes student hates to learn in
school
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.
Students
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 who were punished are shame and not confident.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
School
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uniforms
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 are not suitable for LGBTQ+ because
schools
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 in Thailand are outdated to globalization morals that LGBTQ+ can not wear
similarly
Linking Words
 gender. Notwithstanding, Some administrators in government
schools
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 have
a terrible attitudes
Correct the article-noun agreement
terrible attitudes
a terrible attitude
show examples
 toward LGBTQ+. In conclusion, From my experience, I feel that strict about
school
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uniforms
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 has drawbacks more than benefits.
Moreover
Linking Words
, After I had studied at university, I was joyful because it did not have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
nonsense
regulations
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic differences
  • sense of community
  • bullying
  • attire
  • discipline
  • focus
  • cost-effective
  • variety of clothes
  • professional dress codes
  • self-expression
  • individuality
  • comfort
  • practicality
  • conformity
  • creative expression
What to do next:
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