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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a perticular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opnion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 Words.

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #perticular #time #night #adult #opnion
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Ever since the criminal
activities
Use synonyms
 in the US have risen, the government of certain
cities
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 have started imposing evening
curfews
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. These
curfews
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 are mainly imposed
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
adolescents
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. They are not allowed to be outside after
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the night unless accompanied by an
adult
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. These
curfews
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 may sound very appropriate and
in-line
Correct your spelling
in line
show examples
 with the safety of
adolescents
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,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they can have long term implications on the minds of
adolescents
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,
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apply
show examples
 if the criminal
activities
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 are not dealt
in
Change preposition
with in
show examples
 a strict manner by the city and state
governments
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 in the US.
Adolescents
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 in general are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a very tricky age group. They are in the process of becoming an
adult
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however
Linking Words
 their minds are not fully developed. Out of all the age groups,
adolescents
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 are more vulnerable to criminal
activities
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 and may get involved in them if they are not properly monitored. One
such
Linking Words
 example is drug trafficking, where
maximum
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a maximum
the maximum
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 number of
adolescents
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 get involved. Certain
cities
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 in the US have been dealing with the problem of drugs and drug trafficking for years now. And
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of the population involved in the cases of drugs lies between the age group of 14 to 22. Since the minds of
adolescents
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 are fully not developed, exposure to drugs, drug trafficking or any other criminal activity can have long term
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on the mental health of
adolescents
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. If they are not monitored by an
adult
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 in
such
Linking Words
 situations or areas where the crime rate is very high, they are very susceptible to going off-track in their careers and with their families as well. Once that happens, it can turn out to be an emotionally tiring journey for the families to bring back these
adolescents
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 to normal life. In my opinion, the state and city
governments
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 have taken the right step of imposing these
curfews
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 for
adolescents
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 and only allowing them to head outside with an
adult
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 during
night-time
Correct your spelling
nighttime
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is should not be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a long-term solution to the problem. The
governments
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 should collaborate with the police departments of these
cities
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 and states to reduce criminal
activities
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.
Adolescents
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 are not the only populations susceptible to criminal
activities
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,
adult
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 can equally take part in them as well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to reduce the crime rate
governments
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 and police departments should work together and focus on the long term goal of making
cities
Use synonyms
 a safe place to be.
Submitted by mohitarora1912 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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