Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #adults

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While

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some

people

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argue that

competition

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should motivate

children

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others

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believe that they should be taught how to cooperate, rather than compete, for adulthood. From my point of view,

although

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both play a significant role in

the

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apply

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children

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’s education,

cooperation

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is more crucial to their social and personal

development

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as a

future

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adult.

Firstly

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competition

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is believed to be an essential subject for

children

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to deal with

Change preposition

in an

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extremely competitive society. They argue that

children

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will learn how to handle

frustration

Add an article

the frustration

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of losses, to have discipline, and will help them to know how to improve their

development

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to achieve success in the

future

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, in areas

such

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as academics and the workplace, where

competition

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is prevalent

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...

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For instance

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, it is well-known that competitive sports are beneficial to young

people

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because they learn how to overcome obstacles and how to improve their personal

development

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in the

future

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. Despite the benefits of

competition

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, I argue that

children

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need lessons in teamwork and

cooperation

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more than they need the drive to win.

On the other hand

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others

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believe

cooperation

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is more valuable to

children

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’s education because they will be taught how to live in a society. Through

cooperation

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with

others

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, young

people

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can improve their social

development

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, dealing with and respecting different opinions, working in a team, and creating relationships not only in the

future

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at work but even with family and friends.

For example

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, preschools include

cooperation

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as one of the first skills in their curriculum as they recognize that it is a vital social skill in all spheres of life. For that reason, I believe that teaching young

people

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to cooperate with

others

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is more significant than giving them a sense of

competition

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To conclude

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, many

people

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believe that

children

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should learn how to be competitive to help them succeed as adults,

however

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, I argue that teaching them how to be cooperative is more beneficial because

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

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them the ability to be part of a team and create relationships in the society, which is far more valuable later in life.

Submitted by kahenahoffmann on Tue Jul 09 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on the examples provided. Including specific examples can make your argument more compelling and show a clear connection between your points and real-life scenarios.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining the transitions between paragraphs to achieve even smoother flow. This will help maintain a seamless progression from one idea to another, enhancing the coherence of your essay.

task achievement

You provided a balanced discussion of both views, which showcases your understanding of the topic and the ability to develop a nuanced argument.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay, reinforcing your overall argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some counntries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles, and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by government and individuals to solve this problem?

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.