Nowadays parents are forcing their word to do part time jobs in their free time. Write advantage and disadvantages of this phenomenon

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It becomes very popular, that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are motivated by their parents to start
earn
Change the form of the verb
earning

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb earn. Consider changing it.

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their own money in case they have
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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spare
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend definitely has a number of pros.
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of all,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

start to feel
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible

The word responsibility doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for every dollar they spend, as they have a clear understanding of how much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort

It seems that efforts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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they should make, in order to earn it. The
next
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

plus of participation
to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a part-
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

job is a development of
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

management skills, as
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

begin to decide and start setting priorities among working, studying and relaxing
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

frames. The
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

obvious positive point, which I see, is that teenagers have to communicate with diverse
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues

If you don’t want collegues to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages

It seems that age may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and interests wise, which will develop their communication skills and overall emotional intelligence.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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working in high school or even university ages can lead to a number of problems in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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lives.
Part-
Correct article usage
A part-time

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

job offers access to a particular amount of money, which is enough to cover some basic needs in entertaining and sparing
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with friends in a more exciting way, which can redirect the focus from studying to working. The
second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem I predict that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could face is decreasing
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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studying productivity due to increased physical stress on
young
Add an article
the young

The noun phrase young organism seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms

It seems that organism may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. The final disadvantage of starting working while studying is
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility

The noun phrase possibility seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to stop studying and begin
full-
Add an article
a full-time

The noun phrase full-time career seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

career without appropriate education. To conclude everything which is written above, I would state that it mostly depends on a character of a person and his maturity level, as starting to attend
part-
Correct article usage
a part-time

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

job requires responsibility and a clear understanding of your future plans.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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