IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, not many young people choose to work in the farming industry. Why do you think that is? How could young people be encouraged to work in this industry?

#people #work #industry
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, not many young people choose to work in the farming
industry
Use synonyms
. Why do you think
that is
Linking Words
? How could young people be encouraged to work in
this
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
? Until recently, the
youth
Use synonyms
 revered farming, but now their view no longer perceives farming as an attractive lifestyle. Those in the
agriculture
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 seek to understand
this
Linking Words
 loss of appeal and desire motivating
youth
Use synonyms
 re-engagement with the farming
industry
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will present factors leading to lesser
youth
Use synonyms
 interest in farming and introduce principles that would encourage a future life in
agriculture
Use synonyms
. Before attempting to bring
youth
Use synonyms
 back into the fold of agricultural farming, we must understand why increasingly depart in droves from
this
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
. Lack of farming participation relates to
youth
Use synonyms
 perception of the farming
industry
Use synonyms
. Expounding
further
Linking Words
, those below the age of 20 view farming as peasants and migrants’ cheap pay work. To a lesser degree,
this
Linking Words
 disinterested group often comes from smallholder families who struggled with poor environmental factors, lack of support, and disingenuous partners. Imagine witnessing your father toiling in the fields, only to have a businessman offer him less than 50% of the value for his goods. Who would want to repeat that struggle? Now,
this
Linking Words
 reluctance to farming is not the end-all, which means we can proceed towards redirecting agronomy as a viable
youth
Use synonyms
 career option. Concerned agricultural professionals could promote
technology
Use synonyms
 to rope large swaths of
youth
Use synonyms
 back into
agriculture
Use synonyms
. Unquestionably, since
youth
Use synonyms
 love
technology
Use synonyms
, presenting agriscience
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as drones, hydroponics, vertical farming, and blockchain
technology
Use synonyms
 would pique their interests and connect farming to modern life.
In addition
Linking Words
, television can encourage teens to choose to farm.
For example
Linking Words
, a TV channel exists in Kenya entitled Agribusiness TV, promoting the latest innovation and success stories of young people involved in
agriculture
Use synonyms
. To summarize, attracting
youth
Use synonyms
 to farming presents challenges, but it must start with understanding that they reject
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle due to perception and previous experience. Those who want more
youth
Use synonyms
 involved in
agriculture
Use synonyms
 could directly attack these elements by using different areas of
technology
Use synonyms
 and media.
Submitted by hansa.pandit11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: