Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

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Utilizing social networking sites,
for
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instance
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,instance
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Facebook,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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thought by some
people
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have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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had an
enormous
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enormously
show examples
detrimental effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
individual
people
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as well as
society
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and
local
Add an article
the local
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community
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.
However
Linking Words
, while I believe that
such
Linking Words
sites greatly benefit
Add an article
a person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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for
Change preposition
by
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communicating and finding the same
interest
Use synonyms
group with them, I agree that there
are
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is
show examples
damaging
Correct article usage
a damaging
show examples
Use synonyms
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Use synonyms
. Concerning
to
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apply
show examples
individuals, the
impact
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they had from social media utilization has clear advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
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from around the world
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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brought together to meet
in
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on
show examples
social media whereas
in
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,in
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undeveloped
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the undeveloped
an undeveloped
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technological era,
people
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are rarely
to
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apply
show examples
bond
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a bond
the bond
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wider relationship with
people
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all over the world and only communicate with their closest circle or
community
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.
Other
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Another
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upside is finding
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a group
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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of the same
interest
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with
Change preposition
as
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the user. Facebook usually provide groups of
interest
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where
Correct word choice
that
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everyone can freely join
this
Linking Words
group. They would benefit a lot from
this
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because it
offer
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offers
show examples
individual to discuss and share
the
Change the word
their
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common
interest
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.
On the other hand
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, the
impact
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felt by
society
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from
this
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site can only be seen as negative. Adolescents incline to spend more time with
people
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via
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apply
show examples
online rather than taking a part in
local
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the local
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community
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.
Consequently
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, the
people
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within
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
community
Use synonyms
are no longer forming supportive relationships.
Furthermore
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,
society
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as a whole is becoming more fragmented as
people
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spend much more time accessing social media with
people
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they never met
instead
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of meeting
people
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closer
with
Change preposition
to
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them. To conclude,
although
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social networking sites benefit
Add an article
the individual
an individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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to reach their friends and relatives, they have not had the same
impact
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the wider
society
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or local
community
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. They need to struggle more to involve local
people
Use synonyms
joining
Change preposition
in joining
show examples
local activities in order to promote the future of
community
Use synonyms
life.
Submitted by IELTS B9 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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